Your mortal shell

I said you would need to change everything about yourself and I meant it. Always meddle first and understand later. Firstly, cut yourself down to size. You need a small ratio between your body mass and the surface tension in order to stand on top of it, so follow the parameters of:

Mg/(σP)<1

The ratio of weight Mg to the maximum supporting surface tension force σP that can be generated along the contact perimeter P of the legs.

This equation is your holy grail.

If you end up with something that is more than 1 this method won’t work and we’ll have to seek out some reptiles. Running is involved.

Secondly Legs. Long legs, mean a larger contact perimeter and you have 6 of them, you wouldn’t be your glorious Insecta self if you didn’t, they also keep you stable which is always a nice thing for legs to do. These aren’t just any long legs, however, much like the beard-wearing homo sapien himself you’ve got to be hairy for the aesthetic and, more specifically, for the oriented micro setae with their fine nanostructures which make them super-hydrophobic. Aided by their waxiness of course. So wax your legs, but don’t wax them.

Locomotion

Let’s talk about your interaction with the air-water interface.

It’s as simple as just shakin’ the soles of your feet. Of course, that’s the only soul you’ll ever need as a pond skater. Generating directional anisotropic adhesive forces also works if you want to put it in laymen’s terms. I’ll leave the probability of pond skater souls to the philosophers.

With those lovely long waxy hairy legs, you can now move over the water’s surface that is your home. The trick is to glide, like the ethereal being you are. It’s all about the vortex and wave motions you create, although you only need to use vortexes when you’re tiny. It’s all waves if you’re an adult.

To glide, momentum is exchanged to the underlying fluid via capillary wave actions (ripples) that come into being via the viscous forces acting on the leg hairs when your legs brush the water’s surface. It’s like the breast-stroke with your back legs but on the air-water interface rather than under it. Capillary wave action is also useful if you ever need to climb the meniscus to vacate your pond. Or get onto a boat.

Now to add vortexes for the small ones at the back, if you’re teeny you’ll use 1/3 vortexes, and 2/3 waves. The vortexes form when the driving legs (Back legs) move faster than the capillary wave speed You’re racing ripples essentially and you’re winning rather than using them, so juvenile, interfacial forces are generated by the deformation of the water surface by transferring momentum to the underlying fluid not primarily through capillary waves, but through hemispherical vortices shed by its driving legs by simplifying the leg stroke into impulsive point force. Make the ripples then kick them in the face and vortexes shall appear to carry you forward, I said this was a guide on how to be a bit like Jesus, not a saint.

Now you know the secrets of walking on water. Unlike miracles, this can be employed all day every day. Not just once between 3 and 6 in the morning; scaring the shit out of all who witness it. Because what could be frightening about pond skaters?

Until next time Dear Reader. Have a nice day, and have a great life.

For the curious

Bush, J. and Hu, D., 2006. Walking on Water: Biolocomotion at the Interface. The Annual Review of Fluid Mechanic, (38), pp.339–69.

Bush, J., Hu, D. and Prakash, M. (2007) “The Integument of Water-walking Arthropods: Form and Function”, Advances in Insect Physiology, pp. 117-192. doi: 10.1016/s0065-2806(07)34003-4.

Yuan, J. and Cho, S.K., 2012. Bio-inspired micro/mini propulsion at air-water interface: A review. Journal of mechanical science and technology, 26(12), pp.3761-3768.

Giribet, G. and Edgecombe, G. (2019) “The Phylogeny and Evolutionary History of Arthropods”, Current Biology, 29(12), pp. R592-R602. doi: 10.1016/j.cub.2019.04.057.